Prenups: What Every Couple Should Know Before the Wedding

When couples come to me during the planning process, we talk about venues, flowers, guest lists, and timelines. But sometimes, the conversation turns to something more personal: prenuptial agreements.

It's a topic that can feel uncomfortable, even taboo. But after a decade of working with couples, I've come to see prenups not as a sign of doubt, but as one of many ways partners can build a foundation of honesty and clarity before they say "I do."

What Is a Prenup, Really?

A prenuptial agreement is simply a legal document that outlines how assets, debts, and financial matters will be handled if the marriage ends—whether through divorce or death. Think of it less as planning for failure and more as having an honest conversation about money while you're at your most loving and collaborative.

When a Prenup Might Make Sense

Every couple's situation is unique, but here are some circumstances where a prenup is worth considering:

You're bringing significant assets into the marriage. Whether it's savings, property, investments, or a family inheritance, a prenup can clarify what remains separate property.

One or both of you owns a business. Protecting a business you've built—or one that's been in your family for generations—is a practical consideration, not a romantic one.

You have children from a previous relationship. A prenup can help ensure your assets go to your children as intended, providing peace of mind for blended families.

There's a significant difference in debt. If one partner is entering the marriage with substantial student loans or other debts, a prenup can protect the other from becoming responsible for them.

You simply value financial transparency. Some couples find that the prenup process itself—discussing assets, debts, and expectations—strengthens their relationship.

When a Prenup Might Not Be Necessary

Not every couple needs one. If you're both entering the marriage with similar financial situations, no significant assets or debts, and you're comfortable with your state's default divorce laws, a prenup may be an unnecessary expense.

It's also worth noting that prenups cannot address everything. Child custody and child support, for example, are always determined by courts based on the child's best interests at the time of divorce.

How to Approach the Conversation

This is where it gets delicate. Bringing up a prenup can feel like you're questioning the relationship, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Choose the right moment. Don't bring it up during wedding stress or after an argument. Find a calm, private time when you're both relaxed.

Frame it as partnership. You might say something like, "I want us to start our marriage with complete openness about finances. Can we talk about what that looks like for us?"

Listen as much as you speak. Your partner may have concerns or feelings about prenups that surprise you. Give them space to share.

Consider professional guidance. A family law attorney can explain what your state's laws already provide and help you both understand your options. Each partner should have their own attorney review the final agreement.

A Note on Timing

Most attorneys recommend starting the prenup conversation at least three to six months before your wedding. This gives you time to have thoughtful discussions, consult with lawyers, and finalize everything without the pressure of an approaching deadline.

Signing a prenup the week before your wedding can actually make it more vulnerable to being challenged later—courts look unfavorably on agreements that appear to have been signed under pressure.

My Perspective

I've seen couples who felt closer after going through the prenup process together, and I've seen couples who decided it wasn't right for them. Both paths are valid.

What matters most is that you and your partner communicate openly, respect each other's perspectives, and make decisions together. That's the foundation of a strong marriage—with or without a prenup.

If you're unsure whether a prenup is right for you, I always recommend consulting with a family law attorney in your state who can provide guidance specific to your situation.

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Planning a wedding involves so many decisions, and I'm here to help with all of them. If you have questions about the planning process or want to chat about your upcoming celebration, reach out—I'd love to hear from you.